Ron Howard Theory


“Your taste in men is very eccentric and strange” It was a statement that I was originally defensive about but then considered it a complement. The whole conversation was stemmed by my mention of admiration for Ron Howard. There is also a prior history of conversations about my fascination with other men people call “strange” but this one really perplexed the person I was speaking with. “Ron Howard? From Happy Days? Opie?” I get this a lot so I’m used to the line of questioning as clearly they think I don’t know who Ron Howard actually is. “Yes,” I simply reply back. I’m used to the reaction because Ron Howard isn’t the only person that I have what some people would call a weird fascination with. Jon Gruden is also on my list. Let’s just say when N’Sync was popular I was drawn to Chris Kirkpatrick rather than Justin Timberlake. This is when I noticed my taste in what intrigued me was vastly different than those around me. If anybody remembers the Smooth Criminal music video by Alien Ant Farm, I would watch solely for Tye Zamora (bassist) because of how much personality he portrayed in that video.


I’m sure there are plenty of women out there that have similar infatuations like me. I can’t be the only one out there captivated by Ron Howard. He’s an interesting guy. I’ve even had a dream in which he and I were friends. However I’ve had a similar dream about Abe Lincoln where we had conversations but that’s a whole other story. Let’s clarify that the allure that I have isn’t sexual. There are plenty of men out there that are extremely hot and I would seriously considering serving jail time for lude acts with but as I’ve grown up my tastes have changed. If any of you have spent time with what most of society would consider a really good looking man then you will understand that it doesn’t always come with great conversation. I know, this is where all the men that think they are hot act offended because they think they can carry on a conversation. But I’m not saying that they aren’t intelligent, I’m just saying I feel there is more to life than looking at something that’s visually stimulating. I’m drawn to something unique and separates that person from everyone else.

If you haven’t had the pleasure of speaking with somebody that has a passion for something more than themselves, then you are truly missing out. There is a type of electricity that these people exude that is astounding and thrilling to be around. Watching Jon Gruden stomp up and down the field while he was coaching the Tampa Bay Buccaneers made my Sundays. There is something about the work, knowledge and effort that these people put in what they do that attracts me to them. Not only do they achieve what they want but they also appear to have great personalities, sense of humor and don’t take themselves seriously. It’s not how good somebody looks but what sets them apart from everyone else that’s key. So what if Jon Gruden resembles a serial killing Good Guy doll by the third quarter of a game, it’s exhilarating to watch!


Looks fade and if you try to keep up and get work done to keep looking young then you end up looking worse. Ok, so you don’t have wrinkles but you look like an alien, skin stretched out so much your eye lids touch your ears. Part of aging and maturing is taking the nuances of all that comes with it. However personality and the unique traits typically don’t change and are a part of who that person is. Their passion for what they do, whether it be sparking imagination through movies or coaching a NFL football team. That’s the turn on for me. Putting your heart and soul in to it, not taking yourself too seriously and just doing what you love. And when they all look back and are 80+ they will have the best stories to tell and what I wouldn’t do to be there to hear them all!


Right to Bare Boobs!!

I am SO tired of women fighting this ridiculous battle to make is legal to bare their chest in public.  The main argument being that the law is biased towards the female gender.  First thing first, we are two different genders.  Let’s get that straight right away.  There are several differences between men and woman both physically and psychologically hence the reason we are classified in to DIFFERENT genders (despite how often porn refers to chicks with dicks).  I was reading an article on this where a woman was protesting the fact that men can jog without a shirt and how unfair that was…  Ok.. unless you literally have no chest, as a woman it would be most uncomfortable jogging without some sort of support for the jugs.  Fact is that men and women do not have the same bodies and of course society accepts the differences in certain ways.

Secondly, these women  (which I can only imagine having saggy sweater stretchers) argue that it’s not fair that the law makes the assumption that women baring their beasts is considered sexual while men baring theirs is not.  Seriously!  And what  percentage of men do you see running (probably shirtless)  to the plastic surgeon to enlarge their breasts.  It comes down to psychology.  Men are visual and breast are a signal of a woman’s fertility. Women clearly don’t have this same distinction with a mans chest.  Hence the reason there is a sexual connection when a man see’s a woman’s chest.  Hello, why do you think they go to strip clubs to ogle  women.  The general ratio of female strip clubs to men strip clubs is 10-1.  If women didn’t really understand that the breast is so sexually then why do so many get implants and spend hundreds if not thousands in our lifetime buying different bras that lift, enhance and shape the breast.

Thirdly, lets be honest… People in general society are offended by EVERYTHING nowadays.  Where is the line drawn if they give the ok for women to go topless.  All it takes is a man to look a female’s chest just a little longer than she likes and suddenly she cries foul on the guy.  I mean age limits will need to be addressed because you wouldn’t want a man looking at a busty 16 year old going topless.  Women really need to accept that men and women are not equal  when it comes to physicality.  I’m all for the equal pay for equal work.. but to try and make the argument that indecency laws should work in the same manner is ludicrous.  If you are a woman and feel comfortable with your body then good for you.  But it doesn’t take away from the fact that you, as a women, are viewed in a sexual manner (did you not learn where babies come from?).

While I’m on the subject of knockers, can we also stop trying to make it socially acceptable to openly breast feed in public.  I’m not saying women should have to go hide themselves in a cave when their child is hungry but I also don’t agree with being ok to just whip your boob out anytime/anywhere to feed.  Most modest women will usually cover the baby feeding with a cloth or just excuse themselves to a more private place.  Despite the fact that you are feeding your child doesn’t take away the fact (mentioned above) that men will sexualize it.  Again, porn wouldn’t have a category for it if it wasn’t somehow sexual.  If I hear one more time that “it’s natural!” I may physically vomit on said person.  Of course it’s natural.. but do you know what’s more natural?  POOPING!  Because everybody does that.  But do you see people doing that in public??  NO!  so get off your mommy, mini van, running stroller band wagon and just accept that not everyone wants to see your tits out while your feed your kid.

The Good, The Bad and The Condescending Sarcasm.. All about me!

The other day I was talking about a skill I had and the person I was talking to had no idea I had such skill (not skill in general but that particular skill).  I guess I don’t really think about how I don’t share such tidbits about myself very often.  So this forevermore will be my reference!  I have decide to give you a general reference on what “Brandy” is all about (lucky you!).

First off I am a true introvert.  This isn’t to say that I’m shy but I have many, actually most conversations in my head and have no issues not talking to people.  Weird silences really don’t faze me because most likely I’m having a most interesting conversation in my head anyway.  I think a big part of this awesome introvert personality trait comes from the following events in my life; I was sexually abused from the age of around 4 yrs. old to 12 yrs. old, I was sexually assaulted at age 16, raped at 19 and sexually assaulted again at 22.  Now these are events that happened in my life, they do not make up who I am but have took a part in sculpting how I view the world.  Read the book (still being worked on) if you want the details on all that mess.

Now that we got the gory details out of the way.. time for some fun facts!  I am a pretty good baker.  I don’t love to bake enough that I want to make a career out of it, plus I would be on My 600 LB Life if I was a baker.  I played the flute from 5th grade through Jr. High and was a first chair but dropped that when I went in to high school.  I also have knowledge of playing the piano but honestly have never learned a full song.. I’m an intro girl.  I sing and was part of honor choir back in the school days but my introvert nature has held me back from nurturing that skill. I love music but generally not for the lyrics.  I like the little nuances in different songs like a trumpet solo, clarinet in the background, little things like that.  I also sew, knit, crochet and anything else country but just because I have the knowhow doesn’t mean I spend much time doing it.

Time for the good part!  My beliefs and political stances… actually I hate politics because both sides are full of crap and lie through their teeth to get what they want which has nothing to do with the general population.  I stay away from politics and religion.  But I was raised under the notion that ladies don’t cuss and that cussing makes you sound ignorant.  I still abide by that rule to date.  I am not a person that wastes time talking to you if I don’t like you.  I can’t do the whole fake nice routine.  Never could and never plan to learn to.  Life is WAY too short to waste my time learning about somebody I really have no interest retaining information on.  I also don’t care what your social status is, I base my opinion of you on the way you treat other people.  Nobody is above anybody else despite the amount of money you have or don’t have unless you treat other people poorly.  We are all human despite where we are in life and should be treated as such unless you are a horrible person.

Why I’m weird..  I HATE sharing my food.  I don’t know where that comes from but it’s been that way for my whole life and probably not going to change.  I’m not a good person to stay in contact with people.  I’m a lone wolf and don’t need people around me to feel content so please don’t be offended if I don’t contact you often.  I mean even one of my most favorite people (Gemma M) in the world is subject to this treatment by me, despite the fact that adore and miss her tons!  I revert back to a child when it comes to animals and Disneyland (not my best trait). I have zealous love for Ron Howard!  Not sexual in any way.  I just find him most interesting!  I see Abe Lincoln almost every day in some shape or form (this does not include on any money).  For example, we were recently in Hawaii, we were walking down Main street in Lahaina, and randomly decided on a restaurant. Just 5 minutes after we set down we heard the phrase “Have you seen Lincoln”.  The boyfriends’ eyes got wide as he turned around to see that a man was asking somebody at the table behind us if they had seen the movie!  Freaky right?  I have literally hundreds of these incidents that occur with plenty of witnesses.  Don’t know why it happens but I just go with it.

So that’s me…  I mean I’m a lot more complicated, nerdy, weird and mysterious than all that (what did Shrek say.. I have layers like an onion!) but you get the general jest.. as I’ve heard more than a few times.. I’m unique!

Bare Back Opinion

One of the best things to do after reading an article on any news site is to then scroll down to the comments to see how people react. It’s amazing how nasty and tasteless people get when they are behind a screen basically anonymous.   I know I’m not the only one that finds this fascinating.. How many times have we seen the Michael Jackson with popcorn “I’m only here for the comments” meme?  It amazes me just how narrow minded and ignorant people can be.  There seems to be this trend that if you don’t believe in something that everyone else does then you are somehow wrong when in general all we have are opinions.  Just because you happen to believe in something and think its right doesn’t mean if I don’t that I’m wrong.  Ever heard of the “we will just have to agree to disagree”.

The article I read today was about a Canadian high school student (17) that got suspended because she wrote a letter to her vice principal.  She wrote this letter because he told her she could wear a particular dress that exposed her (tattooed) back and bra straps.  She was suspended because of the letter.  First off let me address my opinion on the situation.  She came out looking like a spoiled little high school girl that somehow thinks the rules don’t apply to her.  Her letter addressed an “unjust” standard towards women and how they are “discriminated against” their bodies.  What does this little girl even know about the subject?  Secondly there is school dress codes put in place so that kids don’t get out of control with their clothing.  I know at my high school boys couldn’t even wear hats and we couldn’t wear tank tops so I don’t see why not barring you back is an issue.  If you want to express yourself with your attire then do so when you aren’t at school.  Reality check is that most jobs have a dress code that you must adhere to so you may as well get used to it.  You are at school to learn, not express your true self with what you are wearing.  Get over yourself.

Canadian Teen Dress Code Article

Then I scrolled down to the comments.  People were putting this little girl in the same category as Joan of Arc!!!  For what?!?!  Writing a snarky letter to her vice principal??  Sorry sweetheart but you are just another spoiled little brat that needs attention because mommy and daddy are probably too busy working so they can hand you everything in life instead of you actually having to work for it.  If your biggest issue in high school is that you want to show your bra straps and back tattoo then you should be thankful.  So clearly there are those that support her cause and then there are the folks like me.  It’s funny how when those people comment about how they disagree they are then attacked for their own stance.  How does that make sense?  I mean she wrote the letter to give her opinion but when people respond with their opinion they are called names, told to shut up, they should “kill themselves”..  One person compared it to a civil rights issue!  What type of society are we living in?

After checking out this girls Facebook page it’s clear to anybody with any intelligence that she is clearly doing all this for attention.  Based on her photos from her page it doesn’t appear she is a about women’s rights.  She picked a great subject that would rile people up regardless of what “side” you were on when in reality it’s not even that big of a deal.  There is much greater things going on in the world that should be discussed besides this girls exposed back.  And if you have an opinion that you think is right and somebody doesn’t agree with you it doesn’t make them wrong.  They just have a different view of the world and they are entitled to their own opinion regardless, just as you are entitled to yours.  So settle down and get off your high horse.

“Who cares!” The Dress Debacle

We have all or most seen the “what color is the dress” debate going around online. By the way, I see the dress as white and gold. It was interesting to see how some people were on the blue/black team while the much brighter folks were on the white/gold team but let’s not focus on the small details. What really annoyed me were the folks that wrote “who cares!!”

Well apparently lots of people because it’s everywhere. A more important question to those that ask “who cares” is who cares about any of your posts? Who cares that you are at the doctor’s office (again!)? Who cares that your kid had a basketball game? Who cares that you are having a bad day? Who cares that you got dumped? Who cares that you feel it necessary to post any arbitrary moment of your life? Because the dress (god forbid) doesn’t somehow involve your small circle of the world you decide to take up space in then you don’t care? If Kim K breaks a nail or Jennifer Aniston is pregnant (again!) people post that all over so what is the difference? Because this is actually interesting and involves science and how our brains work? Or is it so far over your head that you act like you don’t care because you really just don’t understand it. hmmm..



It amazes me how self-involved people have become that they post on social media outlets their opinion, thoughts, ailments or drama and several things happen. Granted I post my opinion but this is my own website so you can shove off and not follow it if you don’t like it (just kidding.. don’t go!). If you disagree then you get attacked by their loyal followers, apparently having your own opinion isn’t allowed unless you agree with the person. It’s called having an adult conversation and your own opinion. Two people are allowed and often have differing opinions. It’s how you handle it that matters. Secondly they get mad you if judge them. Umm once you post it on social media then you are basically asking to be judged. It doesn’t have to be negative but when you go online and post that your baby daddy is screwing your sister then you are going to be judged. Sorry but you shouldn’t be posting that dirty laundry for everyone to see the stains in your skivvies. Here’s a helpful hint: Don’t post it online if you don’t want people in your business!!! It’s really not a hard concept.



What happened to modesty? To self-respect? To mutual respect? I don’t have any issues with social media but I also don’t post a lot of what is going on in my personal life. I hate to do it but I’m going to quote Iggy Azalea who recently said “the internet is the ugliest reflection of man” and I happen to agree. For some reason people think they can be rude. It’s easy to talk negatively towards somebody else when you are tapping away on your phone or behind a laptop. Elders used to teach the whole “if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it at all”. Well it should still apply and especially online. If somebody does have a proud moment that they want to share (and they aren’t one of those “over share-ers) why is it there is always the one hater that has to comment.. And wouldn’t you know it, it’s usually “who cares?” Apparently you because you took the time to comment!

Weekly Rant Vol. 2, Offensive Pricenesses = Feminism?

As I was writing a different rant I came across something so disgustingly ignorant I could not help but to scratch what my intended rant was going to be and discuss the 2 minutes and 35 seconds of ridiculousness I just witnessed. Perhaps along the way we somehow lost what the definition of feminism is.. Just in case, let me refresh you: Feminism (per Merriam-Webster dictionary) is the theory of the political, economic and social equality of sexes; organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests. Below is the video that I happened to come upon.

In this video you will see/hear little girls use “fuck” (they don’t even know what the word means) in several ways to show that cussing and being pretty is less offensive than how women are treated in today’s society. Let’s just take a step back.. First off all, cussing and sounding like an ignorant little girls is actually offensive regardless of how women in general are treated, there is no relation. Granted rape is an issue but let’s not skew the facts.. 2/3 of assaults are committed by somebody known by the victim (men and women, yes..Men get raped too!). It is true that 1 in every 6 women have been a victim of an attempted or completed rape (I myself being one of those victims) but it should also be noted that 1 in every 33 men are also victims. It should also be taken in to acount that Sexual assault has fallen by more than 50% in recent years. But clearly this FCKH8 campaign wouldn’t make any sense if they reported progress. Also the fact that the company capitalizing on little girls in the video to discuss issues that they themselves have yet to deal with is shameful.

Seeing little girls do the  cliche head swaying, hand up attitude, spewing lines such as “I shouldn’t need a penis to get paid” is so disappointing.. Statics show the women make less money because they don’t know their own value and never ask for more, where men tend to ask for higher salaries. So instead of man hating and blaming this issue on men how about we teach women to negotiate their value instead of just accepting what they are offered. Secondly, if you really want to be seen more equal stop supporting women that use their bodies for profit instead of their actual talent. We have women in the spotlight that wear practically nothing in public, sing about sexual moves/positions (what did you think twerking represented?), Miley actually reenacts sex positions on stage (she dresses as Monica Lewinsky and pretends to give a guy dressed as Bill Clinton a blow job), songs like Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda , Meghan Trainor’s “All about that Bass”, Jennifer Lopez’s “Booty” (which basically features her and Iggy shaking their ass) and “Fancy” by Iggy Azalea of course all sung by women.. Ummm Hello.. don’t tell “society” to think your worth is all about your chest and butt when that’s what women are focusing on.. Take a moment to realize that this “society” that you speak of is basically 50% women.. Have you seen the clothes they sell for 16 to 22 yr olds?? And they sell it because it’s being bought and worn. Really, nothing drives me more nuts than a women dressing like she is selling herself on a corner then gets mad because men treat her as such. I’m in no way saying that you deserve to get raped because of how you dress but you will certainly get negative attention when you dress like that.

Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Miley Rihanna

If women want to be respected then they need to respect themselves. It’s not feminism to dress like a whore, act like a whore and then complains that you aren’t being respected as women nor is this in any way liberating women. It just means you are a whore and trying to make an excuse for it. Have a little more self-value, some pride in your personality and not depend on your looks (looks fade and there is always a younger prettier females out there.. just FYI and plastic surgery will only get you so far before you start to look like a freak).. Have more to offer by how you speak, your personality and have more drive to do something within the world than expecting society to give something to you and complaining about how society is somehow keeping you down.. Because after all what have you contributed to society.. Little girls dressed as princesses saying Fuck.. hmmmm.. If you want to enlighten and encourage women then look at women they would be looking up to.   Malala Yousafzai, she is 17 yrs. old and the youngest woman to receive the Noble Peace Prize because she fought for her right to an education. A girl fighting just to learn (and she doesn’t have to show her body to get thing done.. crazy concept right?). Instead of an organization depending on shock value perhaps go to the site: and read about women that actually make a difference in the “soceity” that you live in. These women have class, are well spoken and have achieved actual accomplishments that should be noted.

Weekly rant Vol. 1: Murdering, Rude, Scantily Clad Children

“”I killed that lady,” the 10-year-old boy told a Pennsylvania state trooper, after a 90-year-old woman was found dead in the home of the boy’s grandfather.” The fact that this is the leading line to any news story should chill you to the bone. Clearly children have become desensitized to these types of acts but you go ahead and keep telling yourself that violence in video games, television, movies and even Facebook doesn’t make an impact. When you see it so often it ends up as a normalcy rather than a shock.. Kind of like Rihanna naked, we’ve seen it so many times we don’t care anymore (did you really look at her ICloud leaked photos.. no.. Boring!) I mean I play video games and some are intense for me so I can only imagine if you are letting your children play them or you end up taking them to these movies that are extremely graphic. I’ve seen parents take their children (he’s too young to understand it is complete BS) so let’s not pretend it’s not happening. Wake up and be a damn parent, stop being your child’s friend and stop being guilted in to giving them everything they want just because you want them to have a better life than you had. If you want them to have a better life then make sure they are educated so they can support themselves with an awesome career!! You are creating little spoiled, jaded assholes!

While I’m on the subject, how about you stop letting your little princess dress like she’s offering herself up for sale (yes, that’s politely saying prostitute). Allowing her to wear crop tops with shorts so short her ass cheeks are exposed thinking it’s cute. Wake up and stop using the excuse “that’s the style” or “that’s all they sell”. Teach your kids some modesty (a couple episodes of 19 Kids and Counting wouldn’t hurt) and that they have more to offer than how they look and what their body has to offer. Mainly I’m complaining because once she gets knocked up as a teenager I really don’t want to support her while she’s on welfare because she can’t get a decent job because she didn’t graduate because you let her believe that sex is love and the only thing she has to offer is how good she looks in a bikini on Instagram (got to get in the 100 club) rather than an education.

In keeping the theme of unruly children it would be nice if you taught them some manners as well. Please and thank you should be a staple. This of course goes for adults as well. I don’t know if it’s because people are so engrossed with their phones that they fail to notice the actual human interaction they could have as people are standing all around them but they also fail to have manners. Paying attention to what is going on around you is more important than some lame fake story you are reading on Facebook. Do you know there was a study that said showed 17% of single men would rather have an IPhone over a girlfriend? Actual human interaction is less exciting than your cellular phone?? Pathetic people… but I’m getting off subject. This is about manners and lack of them. You may think your child cussing and throwing a fit is cute but to the rest of the world he is a blight on society. Plus when he/she is released in to the “real world” that you as a parent are supposed to be preparing him for, society just won’t put up with that and he/she will fail miserably and be one of those psychos on Hoarders or Dumbest Criminals.. Unless of course they are one of the kids from above paragraphs in which they will be on Teen Mom or American’s Most Wanted. Congrats and pat yourself on the back for procreating..


Tabloid Bully

So recently a “tabloid” printed some incorrect and rude information about a certain celebrity and his family that just wasn’t true. I responded to their incorrect, ridiculous accusations and in turn they wrote about me. Of course all taken out of context and completely missing the sarcasm and ironic tone that I write in (clearly shows their lack of intelligence). Which just proves my point that they have no credibility or soul. So because they feel the need to dredge up information on hard-working people just trying to live their lives I thought it only fair that I see what information I can find on them. What’s that saying “let him without sin cast the first stone”. Considering how they have no issues trying to air out dirty laundry they must not have any of their own, right?

Wrong! First off, I’ll give them credit on not attaching a name to any of their articles but only putting “staff” as the writer. Any person with half a brain wouldn’t attach their name to these stories. So I guess the company that oversees these outstanding (just for clarification, that was sarcasm) publications, American Media Inc. According to my source (The Wall Street Journal) American Media themselves have had a little bit of their own money problems. In November of 2010 they filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Unlike them I will also link you to where I get my information so you can see it hasn’t been fabricated or twisted in any way.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by the behavior of a company that publishes the National Enquirer. You’ll notice I didn’t put a link to the articles they wrote because I don’t think they deserve the web traffic (look, I know the 10 of you that read my page aren’t going to crash their site but it’s the principal). These so called news sources twist and manipulate information to sell their magazines and it’s to their advantage that they have several outlets under name. I’m not saying there isn’t some truth to some of their gossip but if people want to believe that I actually can’t afford $100 a year for coffee please feel free to donate any funds to me.. I accept cash and checks! (I suppose this that last sentence will be taken out of context and used against me, guess I shouldn’t mention that big foot is my love slave.. OPPS! (This was a headline from National Enquirer but you can’t prove he’s not my love slave.) They have their forum and I have mine.. that’s why I have this page to begin with right? Granted mine isn’t on as large of a scale as theirs but I don’t profit from lies (well I guess they don’t profit either because New York Post put out an article recently that the company had to be bailed out again this June.. oppsy) like they try to.



Deeper Than Robin Williams “the actor”

“ soon as a celebrity dies they’re the greatest thing ever”

Scrolling along my Facebook feed I run across the line posted above. Not the whole post but just this one part.. It brought up a lot of different things for me. I started to comment on the post but wanted to ponder upon it before I went straight in to defense mode. Despite what you might think I do think (a lot) before I speak or write something that may come across as rude or inappropriate. I don’t like to think of myself as one-sided (despite how my rants come across). I do like to think of all the possible points of view people may have so I can see the whole picture. Not one narrow sided view of what I think the world is based on just what I know. Everyone has their own experience in life that changes their views and opinions. It doesn’t mean that any one person is wrong or right. It’s how we accept each other’s opinions that matter. For instance, you may be a New England Patriots fan and that is a horrible stance but I accept that fact that you clearly don’t have good taste. This is just one example but the beauty is you don’t have to agree with what people have to say but the fact that they have the right to say it. We are supposed to have freedom of speech in the country after all. Anyway, back to my pondering..

Although I did not know Robin Williams personally I was saddened by his death. Also disturbed by his reasoning for doing what he did but for different reasons than you may think (more on that later). I think that the reason why people are so hurt, shocked, sad and effected by the death of any celebrity without knowing them is because they are a part of our lives. These movie stars, singers, athletes that we as a society put on a pedestal or idolize are there because in some way they have weaved their way in to our lives or memories at one point or another. In the case of Robin Williams it might be that you remember watching Mrs. Doubtfire with your parents on the couch, your dad with a bag of peanut M&M’s and mom drinking her Diet Coke. Perhaps Mork and Mindy was on when grandma was babysitting you and it takes you back to a time where you can remember sitting on her couch eating butter & corn syrup (don’t knock it until you try it, family secret recipe) sandwiches with the smell of baked beans lingering throughout the house. It’s not that the actor themselves did extraordinary things but that their characters remind us of moments in our lives that bring up memories we like to hold on to. I also think it’s sad that the creation of any other character by that celebrity is no longer possible and the finality brings some despair as well.

In the matter of suicide..Well this is a matter that hits close to home. If you have never suffered depression in its lowest form where suicide was ever an option then you will never understand the power it has over you. It does not matter how rich you are, if you have children or a family that showers you with love. It does not matter if you have a job, house, car or live on the streets. The hold that suicidal thoughts have over a person is stronger than any of that. Very few people know of the struggle that I have had with this subject myself. The details will remain with those that have had the unfortunate task of assisting me to get through those very very dark days. It’s not something that should be joked about but I think it’s ironic that the people that suffer with this tend to joke a lot. Whether it’s to deflect from their own pain or more likely a façade that’s put on so that people don’t notice or suspect how deep the pain really is. I think the latter because it’s a ploy I myself use. Making people laugh keeps them from seeing your dark side. It’s also a reminder that you never know what people are feeling on the inside so you shouldn’t make assumptions about people. People who suffer know that they are their own worst enemy and hide it well. Recently there has been an article passed around about suicide not being a selfish act (it’s a great article if you want more insight) which I happen to agree with, it’s not a selfish act. Again, if you have never dealt with it then you have no idea how dark and sinister that place is where you decide the world would be better if you just weren’t in it. How people might be sad at first but they are stronger than you and will recover, move on and live happy lives again. Trying to tell somebody with suicidal thoughts that it’s a selfish act is like a person that has never had a drop of alcohol telling an alcoholic to just stop drinking.

All this sparked from one line of a post on a social media site. I guess now you can understand why I didn’t comment. Not only would it have been this long rant but less thought out (believe it or not I did think about this rant longer than normal). This is just my view of the world based on my interactions with people throughout my life. Each molding me in to the person I am today whether it be for good or bad. Me, the somewhat withdrawn, introvert that only wears dresses or skirts, that prefers male friends over the drama of having female friends (although this somehow makes me a whore in the eyes of females that clearly don’t know me.. Which actually proves my point about women) and has a strong opinionated, jaded view of just how kind or evil people can be.  While I have healed to an extent scars are always left behind of that dark time.  So rest in peace Robin Williams, the pain and darkness is over. No longer will you have to put on that mask of happiness to the world when you feel so much pain and torment on the inside.

My Breakup with Starbucks

Anybody that knows me also knows that I am a Starbucks fan. I am a gold card carrying customer that frequents the green and white (surely cracked laced beverages) coffee house up to 5 times a week. However, after this last price increase I have drawn the line. There is a reasonable if not stubborn part of me that refuses to pay $5.05 for a flavored coffee! Part of the problem may stem back to the days when I was working at a pizza chain (and I know I may be aging myself a little here) making $4.25 an hour. What I don’t understand is why other people aren’t concerned about this current price hike. I guess I’m the only one that can’t afford the extra $100 a year it would cost to support my habit.

Doing some research I’ve discovered that the whole hike in coffee has nothing to do with the raise in Starbucks prices. Perhaps they are taking advantage of the news that coffee bean prices are up 70%, 90% even 100% depending on what news report you care to believe. Starbucks has confirmed that they have enough beans already purchased to support the remaining of this year and 40% of next year (2015). Regardless of why the price hike was necessary I will not be partaking in venti Cinnamon Dolce Lattes or Skinny Carmel Macchiatos any time soon.

So here is the breakdown of what I will be saving by passing on the fancy coffee. Lets say I did go 5 times a week. If I quit cold turkey today I would be saving $25.25 a week. Lets take this one step further.. In a month it’s an extra $101. I’m sure you see where I’m going here.. In one year I will have saved myself $1212. It’s like any habit really. There are two types of people, those of us that look at it as saving money by suffering just a little and not having something we enjoy and those that say “you only live once and I’ll do whatever I want”.   Well.. I view it like this.. If I don’t go to Starbucks and bank that money I will have saved up $6060 in 5 years.. I could take that money and spend a week in Bora Bora in one of those huts over the water (my dream vacation) or just have $6000 dollars.

Here’s the thing, Starbucks is taking advantage of the situation and profiting from it. You can’t blame them, they are in the business to make money and people will pay $5.05 for a large espresso. It’s a hard sale for me but hey, I’m frugal.. Guess my parents did teach me a little something about saving.

My honest and unfiltered view of the world we live in

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